Dear Readers,
Welcome back to my blog.
Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t been writing these blogs as regularly I used to. It became more of a monthly thing this year as I focused on other things that are essential to my wellbeing. I hope you’ve also been focusing on the things that are important to you.
When I gave up drinking in May 2019 it was all I could talk about. I’ve done a lot of talking since! Eventually, I started to live more. I discovered the joy in the simple things, like going on a long bike ride on a Sunday morning without the banging headache of a hangover. The photo I’m using for this blog was taken yesterday during a ride with himself along the coast of Western Australia, with the soothing sound of the Indian Ocean as my soundtrack. We came upon one of Dambo’s Giants along the way and I took a rest in his lap. The views from above were breathtaking!
everything I’ve got
I haven’t thrown myself into the second draft of my novel yet as I learnt from an expert that it’s best to let the first draft simmer for a while so that when I do get back to it, it will be with a fresh pair of eyes. Yet it’s on my mind always! That’s the thing about having a passion for storytelling; it is constantly calling me to it. I already know that the first draft needs a complete rewrite to make it a compelling read and will take everything I’ve got. For this reason, you probably won’t be seeing much of me over the next six months.
change happens in small steps
Today I wanted to share some insights that I’ve recently had the good fortune of discovering, insights that are helping me to live a more satisfied life. I’ve named this blog ‘Human Steps’ because I have learnt that our individual progress only happens in small steps, not giant leaps. You’ll probably be familiar with the quote from Neil Armstrong as he landed on the moon in 1969, ‘one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind’. This quote helps to illustrate what I’ve learnt so far about recovery and progress. As human beings, alone, we can put one foot in front of the other and step towards change once we have made up our minds to do so. That’s the most important step we will ever take personally, one that is driven by the belief that we can and will do better.  Self-determined change happens in small steps. There are days when it’s easy to put one foot in front of the other, and there are days when we feel so stuck it’s as if someone has glued our feet to the ground. What I’ve learnt after spending the past five and a half years walking forwards without alcohol is that I couldn’t have done it without the support of others, and without the path that has been etched out by the brave ones who went before me. I think that was partly what Armstrong was saying in that quote. He alone could take one small step as an astronaut, but it was the collective effort and energy of the team who put humans on the moon that made it a giant leap for mankind. Together we are more powerful.
our need for connection
The world today feels noisier and messier than ever, but underneath it all, we are still essentially the same in terms of our need for connection, our need to feel part of something greater than ourselves and our desire to live a meaningful, satisfying life.  There will always be people who are willing to deny this truth out of fear of being vulnerable. I’ve been guilty of that in the past. I’ve put up defences, put on a brave face and pretended to the world that I didn’t need anyone. I told myself stories that led me to make harsh judgements about people, including myself. These judgements became regular thoughts that only served to estrange me further from others.
move us forward in a kind, loving way
I was listening to Eckhart Tolle: Essential Teachings podcast recently and he was talking about how we attach ourselves to certain thoughts (or, as I prefer to call them, stories) and they completely take over our lives. He likens our thoughts to a virus that is highly infectious because whatever thoughts we have will determine how we act. How we act affects the people who we encounter. Now that’s all well and good if our thoughts are life-affirming and help to move us forward in a kind, loving way. But unless we are aware of our thoughts, we won’t know. Tolle says that awareness is the vaccination that will ensure the virus doesn’t do damage. I am pleased to say that I have now been vaccinated. By embracing a daily practice of meditation, I get to check in with myself and listen to the stories that I’m telling myself. Thoughts come into my head all the time, uninvited. I put it down to electrical activity in the brain that generates images, ideas, scenarios, just like the movies, and it’s up to us to decide what we make of it. It’s an interesting exercise to just sit with closed eyes observing what pops into the mind. When you realise that you can be the observer, that you have this broader awareness within you, you begin to understand that you can choose to let go of whatever pops into your mind. In time, with practice, the mind will calm and won’t always feel as though it’s being bombarded.
show up anyway
I’ve had quite a few challenges this year which has made my mind very anxious and made meditation more challenging. The only way around this was through it. I stuck with my commitment to show up anyway. Every morning and every night, I pull out a chair, I settle my body, close my eyes and observe what’s going on in my body, mind and spirit. Sometimes the anxious thoughts are unrelenting so I send the focus to my body, breathing into the different areas that might feel tense. Sometimes I hear birdsong outside and I send my focus to nature, allowing myself to feel part of this beautiful world. The nervous system is very responsive to slow, calm breaths. It’s amazing how this simple action can eventually calm the mind. The act of bringing the focus away from the thoughts to the body, such as becoming aware of the feet on the ground, the back against the chair, the flow of air on the skin, also serves to calm the mind. With a calmer mind, we can make clearer decisions about what’s important to us. This is how we get our power back to be in a kinder and more loving state towards ourselves and others.
meditation is about learning to not let your thoughts control you
That’s where I’m at. Meditation is the gift I give myself every day because the benefits are amazing. I am deeply grateful to the people who helped me get to where I am now. If you’re interested in exploring what meditation can do for you, then I strongly recommend joining a meditation group near you or online without delay. If you want some personal recommendations, then feel free to contact me and I will share my knowledge with you.
I will leave you with this thought: Meditation isn’t about learning to control your thoughts; meditation is about learning to not let your thoughts control you. Be the master, not the servant. And remember that change happens in small steps.
Thanks for being here. Love, Gill x
